Yesterday

Yesterday I was in the Roosevelt section of Seattle. The following things happened to me within 30 minutes. I saw a homeless man who looked like not one, but about five college professors and or high school teachers I have had over the years. I am not talking about just some facial features or other similarities. I mean a shocking likeness and total surprise to see a man of his ilk begging by the side of the road with his neatly printed "money for food and rent" sign. To me, this is the ultimate proof that in this economy, no one is immune. Not the never-been alcoholic, lifelong gainfully employed, master's degree educated type. Not anyone. I crossed the street and was patiently waiting for the cross sign (alas I have given up my jaywalking habit, damn you Seattle) when I saw a car stalled in the road. The driver, in response to the growing aggressive side of the PNW passive-aggressive personality expressed in a growing chorus of car horns, got out and started to push his car down the slight hill. He was a young guy, fairly cute. I thought he needed some cheering so I started to jump up and down and wave my arms at him. Like "Go! Go! Go!". He saw me, briefly smiled, and managed to roll his sea-green Ford into the Shell station half a block away. I thought I'd just get on the bus now and go home like a normal person. I'm not on the bus for more than 5 minutes when this guy sits down next to me. He asks me a question about the bus route. I tell him I have no answer as I have just randomly got on the first bus headed downtown and plan to figure it out as I go. He then makes a comment about how this is "just his luck" and he's having that kind of day etc. I'm like "oh yeah?", sympathetic but vague. He then makes several comments about how he is done with planet earth in a not-so-veiled I want to kill myself kind of way. Oh. Good. Lord. Why. Me??? I tease out some of the details: a long stint of unemployment, brief happiness at finding a job fading into dissatisfaction with said job, low pay necessitating a move from his current place into something cheaper. General disillusionment at the general state of his life, that type of thing. I am suddenly reminded of how unhappy I was with my old secretary jobs back in Boston. I share with my bus buddy that feeling of emptiness after a long day doing next to nothing, being treated like dirt by people I couldn't stand. How I would sit on the train on the way home and be so exhausted, so miserable. I didn't think there would ever be an end. I told him about my eventual career change into nursing, my move out here and the slow realization that things had gotten much, much better. Not in a you wake up one day and it's all roses and sunshine kind of way. Just a gradual unfolding of the layers of shittiness I thought were once with me forever. The man started to smile, nod as I was telling him this. I told him to hang in there, things can get better. My bus stop arrived suddenly and I hopped off. He smiled and thanked me for my advice. I think he believed me then, and I hope to god he believes me still.